The Story of Oedipus, Organization XIII Style! XD
by Ghost Chibi
Summary: The title says it all. Just a crackfic that I wrote during AP Bio today while trying to stay asleep during a video about plant symbiosis. Ugh.


A/N: Wow, talk about procrastinating and getting off topic. I have 5 other stories (I think) that need to be updated yet here I am, posting yet another story. I know I know. But hey, this one's a oneshot. I'm using my KH OC Luxia in this, I have a fanfiction that's in the making right now that uses her. So in the meantime, enjoy this oneshot written during AP Bio to keep from falling asleep due to an extremely boring video about plant symbiosis! :D

I don't know why people have to put disclaimers in their fics. Come on, nobody's dumb enough to think that you own the series, right? Right?

Oh, and please don't freak out after reading the first 2 paragraphs. If you don't know what it's referring to, then go look up Oedipus the King, Oedipus at Colonus or Antigone.

And remember, this is a crackfic. Well, at least the first part is XD I'm only using the characters' names, not the actual characters.

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There was once a place called the Land That Never Was. There was a king and queen, and they had a son. King Xemnas and Queen Naminé took their son to the oracle Xaldin and he told them that the baby would grow up to kill his father and marry his mother.

Obviously this wasn't welcome for the king and queen, so they told a shepherd to cut the tendons in the baby's feet, tie him up and leave him in a field to die. Well, Luxord, the shepherd, couldn't let the baby die so he left the baby in the field, and when the coast was clear went back to take the baby home with him.

The baby, now named Marluxia, grew up for a while with Luxord, and then was given to another king and queen. Marluxia grew into a young man, and went to an oracle to see his future. Unbeknownst to him, he went to the same oracle that he had gone to as a baby. Xaldin told him the same thing that he told Marluxia's parents. Horrified, the young man ran away to try and escape his fate.

He was walking down a road to another city when a man in an elegant carriage ran him off the road. In his rage, Marluxia killed the man and everyone else in the carriage. He continued on toward the city.

Outside the city though was a sphinx. The townspeople had named her Larxene, and she kept anyone from entering or leaving the city. Many people tried to beat her, but nobody could correctly answer her riddle. Marluxia saw many people trying to answer her riddle.

"What walks on 4 legs, then 2 legs, then finally 3 legs?" she asked.

"I, Demyx, think that… um… a horse that got it's legs chopped off, and then grew one back?"

"Wrong."

Larxene ate the man named Demyx. Next came an old man.

"What walks on 4 legs, then 2 legs, then 3 legs?"

"I, Vexen, think a confused starfish that keeps getting its arms chopped off."

"Wrong."

Larxene also ate Vexen. After him came a younger man.

"What walks on 4 legs, then 2 legs, then 3 legs?"

"I, Lexaeus, think a running horse."

"Wrong."

Larxene also ate Lexaeus. Marluxia walked up to the sphinx, who shook her head and muttered something about foolish human beings.

"If you want to enter, then answer this riddle. What walks on 4 legs, then 2 legs, then-"

"A man. He starts out as a crawling baby, then a man walking on 2 legs, then an old man who uses a cane to walk."

The sphinx screamed in rage, having been finally defeated, and then threw herself off of a cliff and died. The people of the city declared Marluxia a hero, and had him married to their queen because their last king had died.

After a while though, a plague tormented the city. Marluxia and the queen sent out many people to find out why the gods were punishing the city. The information that came back was astounding.

The queen was actually Marluxia's mother. Queen Naminé hung herself out of grief, and probably shame too, and King Marluxia gouged out his eyes with Naminé's brooch, because he couldn't bear to see the faces of his children, who were technically his brothers and sisters. Marluxia was sent into exile, and later became immortal, and was taken up into the heavens by the gods.

The city no longer had a ruler, and so Marluxia and Naminé's tow sons fought against eachother for power. Roxas joined another city and fought against his home; Axel fought for his home. Both were killed in battle, so Naminé's brother Saix came and became ruler. He planned for his son Zexion to be married to Luxia, one of Marluxia's daughters, and let her and her sister Xion live with him. But Luxia, against Saix's law, decided to bury Roxas, and was thrown into a cave as punishment. Xion tried to stop Saix, but he ignored her. Zexion and Saix's advisor Xigbar argued with Saix, but Saix was too stubborn. Luxia hung herself in the cave, and Zexion stabbed himself upon seeing her dead body. Saix's wife and Xion also committed suicide, and so Saix was left with nothing despite Xigbar, Zexion and Xion's attempts at changing Saix's mind.

So basically, Saix lost everything and was only left with his advisor, who didn't like him much anyway. His whole family died.

* * *

"Woah woah woah, why am I Oedipus in the story?!"

Luxia laughed as Marluxia, along with a few others, glared at her.

"I don't know I just felt like it," she replied, still giggling.

"Why am I the king?" Xemnas asked, glaring menacingly at Luxia.

"Why am I Ismene?" Xion wailed.

"Why am I Jocasta?" Naminé asked.

"Why am I so stupid?" Demyx demanded.

"Why am I Creon?" Saix growled.

"I liked my part as Haemon," Zexion said plainly.

"Yeah, well that's because you got to die with your little lover over there who thought of this ridiculous story! I got thrown off of a cliff! And Marluxia would never outsmart me!" Larxene snapped.

Demyx coughed at Larxene's last comment. She threw a kunai at his head, and he ducked. The metal blade embedded itself into the wall behind Demyx. Soon, everyone quickly began arguing amongst themselves. After a bit, Roxas looked around, confused.

"Hey guys… where are Luxia and Zexion?"

"Aww crap, they just used that stupid story as a distraction! Now we can't go find them and interrupt their little moments!" Axel yelled.

"Aww… but I like interrupting their moments…" Demyx said, pouting. Roxas hit Axel and Demyx over the head with a book conveniently placed by him.

Meanwhile, Luxia and Zexion were in the library, celebrating their success.

"Well, that got rid of them quickly," Zexion said, smirking.

"That's why you're the Cloaked Schemer," Luxia replied. "That was fun to see everyone's reaction, though."

"There's more than one way you can interpret the name 'The Light Within the Dark,' you know. A light can go off sometimes in the darkest, emptiest minds-"

"Shut up, we aren't talking about Demyx."

"What if I don't want to shut up?"

Luxia rolled her eyes, but then suddenly grabbed the front of Zexion's cloak and kissed him. She broke the kiss and stared at him with a look of triumph on her face.

"Okay then," he said, smirking and swiftly picking her up bridal-style. "You win this time."

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A/N: Yeah, my fic-to-be is a ZexionxOC fic.

So, what'd you think?

Does anyone out there love the story of Oedipus as much as I do? Well? Or am I just a freak who loves the story of Oedipus, and marionettes, and big thick dictionaries, and opening up clocks and other machines with gears, and-

*passes out from lack of oxygen due to talking too much*

REVIEW ALL OF YOU. YEAH, YOU. I SEE YOU OUT THERE.


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